Burymedeep’s Weblog

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAh BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

I should end it. I should end it. I should. Shouldn’t I??

Ah! but i am a coward.

I will one day. I will……..And that day is coming soon. I will. I will do it without leaving an explanation.

Ahhhhh!

I was supposed to die today……i already had plans of how i wnated to go. and the last i would be doing and all that…………

What an ass huh??/

What changed my mind………IDK.

Well i feel like doing it now…..especially after realizing the sercret behind the name.

ARGGG!

I have to move on. FUCK!

i wnat a bus to runover me

X(

I’ll erase that part of me. I’ll erase it. I won’t let it ruin me. I won’t let it control me. I won’t let it devour my heart.

I will move on.

i will kill myself slowly. i will murder my soul. I will torture myself. I will make me bleed. Then and only then may i be able to enter his hell.

I will fell the pain. And i will be content with it. For it is what i deserve. isn’t it? Isn’t it???

Tell me it isn’t . Please tell me it isn’t what i deserve. Please shelter my heart and pierce it so all the guilt and pain will flow out. Please show me your smile again. Show me your smile that made my heart melt and made me want more. show me your face. Your face that made me always want to smile. show it to me. ask me why i am sad one last time and i will tell you the truth. If you don’t want me I’ll understand.

I ask too much of you. i alwasy do that. i ask too much of everyone and yet deliver none.

I AM A SEWER RAT. A PATHETIC FUCK BAG X(

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Words. thats all i can deliver.

Fuck me!

I want what i cannot have. I don’t want what i could have had. What kind of bullshit is this?

“what have i become my sweetest friend?”

Fuck me!

I belong in that hell of yours.

I belong. i belong i belong. or am i just garbage? a peice of trash?

I don’t belong. I don’t belong. I don’t belong. I never did. FUCK!

“Throw away this little girl. She doesn’t deserve anything. Piss on her. Why would anyone care. She made him bleed. why gve her anything?”

This all has to do wth…them. THEM.

Fuck me! I swear fuck me! let me bleed. I don’t care. i wnat to hurt myself till i cannot feel anymore. til i am nothing. NOTHING.

Ah “hurt” I love you.

“you could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt”

” full of broken thoughts i cannot repair”

” If i could start again. A million miles away. I will keep myself. I will find a way!!!!!!!!!!!”

FUCK ME! FUCK ME! FUCK ME!

Cut me up and search my insides. throw away all of me. till nothing is left. Make me bleed. MAKE ME BLEED!

this has nothing to do with so called love i thought i once had. It all has to do with guilt and attraction.

wtf is wrong with me? Am i deserving enoigh to be called a bicth? a slut?

ARGGG!

FUCK ME!

“Hang me from your tree.”

Fuck! I hate myself so much! but you prbably have heard that over and over again.

Well i still do hate me like super duper hate!

ARGGGG!!

This is the part where i talk to myself and say go get a rope and 12 o’clock midnight you die.

=(

Sigh………… i feel so alone all over again. FUCK Bag!

But if i told anyone this they’ll laugh at my face head on! =(

I’ll just go smoke in the bathroom and before the sun rises tomorrow i’ll take out my bike and ride away and i think the cold will make me fell not so bad.

PS- pls excuse my immature english. i’m nto feeling so good… so you’ll have to excuse it…