Filed under: Not up to doing things
“The World’s a Stage”
This poem makes me wanna die. 
Screw you. Shakespeare!!! (Although you’re awesome :D)
Life described in just one page. in just ONE GODDAMN PAGE!.
What the fuck is the point of living if life can be only described in one goddamn page????
That too with no happiness in it. Just pain and stages.
Sigh…
You reader must be thinking whats so bad about the poem………well go fucking read the goddamn poem.
and go be as depressed as me.
Maybe i am over reacting like the bitch i am.
Sigh…….
In the end….we are all useless. In the end no mater what we do. we’re still all going to die. sad and hurt.
Sigh.
Today all my old thoughts flew back inside my head……….
I couldn’t even make my friend want to live.:(
Makes me feel so useless and unworthy of everything.
I made him wait too……
The whole goddamn day
WTF is wrong with me????
In 3 days i have cried 5 times
How lame of me is that??????? ARGGG!! The only thing i am good at - being weak.
In the end no matter what we’re all going to die.
Tell me whats the point of living then????
Just so we can try to be happy in this fucked up world???
I mean sure……..there is one reason to live but…fuck that reason is so goddamn far away…….:(
It’s getting so hard.
Everyday…..you wake up and miss that reason so goddamn much. that you don’t even want to wake up in the first place. But you have to otherwise you’ll get scoldings and shit like that. and then the whole day you go on feeling empty. And feeling empty makes u wanna cry. And crying means you are being weak. And being weak makes you hate yourself and you want to hurt yourself really bad. But hurting yourself hurts that reason. and hurting that reason makes u hate yourself even more. and hating yourself makes you want to hurt yourself even more but hurting yourself hurts that reason. and you wnat to cry because its so goddamn confusing and it hurts your head and then there you go again being weak.
The whole day i had to sing “the Itsy Bitsy Spider” Just to calm myself down..
Just to not make myself think so much. so i wouldn’t want to cry so i wouldn’t be sad so that the reason won’t be sad knowing i am sad. And on top of this poem. I had to made him wiat. And on top of that I couldn’t even make her want to live.
Sigh……….:(
Now where was i???
Oh yea the goddamn poem…
I wish i had never read it
Stupid Miss Kharshing.
XP
Making us read a depressing poem that makes you wnat to kill yourself.
This poem makes me sadder than “hurt” by NIN.
*curses*
William shakspere if only you were alive i would have shit on the hand of yours that wrote this poem.
XP
SIgh.
Back to crying. And back to making my head hurt with thoughts.
“The Itsy Bitsy spider went up the water’s spout.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came then sun and dried up all the rain
And the Itsy Bitsy spider went up the spout again.”
LALLALA.
says to self -*Do what you have to do to make yourself stop wanting to die so that the reason won’t be sad.*
Filed under: Not up to doing things
mind pounding with useless thoughts.
About to burst. Brain will splatter.
I’m sorry. I’m too moody.
I try not to be. But it just comes back and back until i break.
I break so easily. Sometimes i want to break. But right now its just too much of me breaking.
I really am sorry.
Argg Back to me hating myself.
The fuck!
I end my useless rambling here.
but my mind will keep on pounding.
I’ll have to go hide in my closet again.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Oh little weak shit head.
I hate you. You’re a fuck bag. and people know it.
You pretend to be someone you’re not. You want to be you. but you fuck bag! You don’t even knwo who you are!
Ah little shit head drop dead.
So paranoid. So stupid. So immature. So fucking insecure.
I hate you.
Damn who the one you hate the mst could be yourownself.
Filed under: mountain of shit
Falling down. It’s the only thing i am good at.
So i will keep on falling down till i reach the bottom of this pit and will never be able to climb out of it again.
Yes.
No pillows to break my fall. No winged alien to save me.
I will keep on falling. I’ll fall to the bottom of the pit and be lost there. I’ll break my bones and won’t be able to climb back up. I’ll be paralyzed. Slowly I’ll be eaten by maggots alive. They’ll eat through my skin. and once they’ve gotten through. they’ll find my heart and eat it up too. working form the inside to the out.
I’m being melodramatic aren’t I? Yes Yes of course I am.
I am no good for nothing.
I’m just a pointless play. on stage. a play. which people can point and laugh at the immaturity and cheapness of it all.
Yes I am melodramatic. “nail me upside down” now.
I can make something out of nothing. Yeap. I am a fool who has nothing better to do but make something out of nothing.
Sigh.
I hate myself. but you stupid reader. probably know that. So yes you can stop reading if you’re bored to death I might be a fool but i’m not a rude ass who will hold a gun to your head and make you read this blog over a 100 times. till your eyes drop out.
The fuck. Who am i? I am no one. I am a fucking no one. I am no one. NO ONE. ARGGGGG.
I hate me. Do you hate me? of course you hate me.
…………………………………………………………………………………..
End this shitty blog urself stupid reader.
I hate me. ARAGGGGGG//
Filed under: mountain of shit
An empty glass. An empty pit. An empty vessel.
Nothing. I am nothing. I cannot be compared to anything because i am nothing.So how can something be compared to nothing. It is impossible. Absolutely impossible.
What the fuck am i talking about……you say????
Well i don’t know either. I am just typing away my thoughts So that they don’t kill me.
What the fuck is wrong with me????
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
A waste of time. Thats what i am. But you must have probably come to that conclusion on your own.
Yes. I do hate myself. very much. I can’t change me. You can’t change me either. I hate me. But i suppose everyone hates themselves. Don’t you think so?
I can make a list that will contain over a hundred points why i hate me. and well…..just one or two points why I’m not as bad as a sewer rat.
but then again i won’t do that because i am nothing. I am not that important that i have to create a list of how much i hate myself.
No one will be bothered by it. Neither will i.
So yes my point is i do hate myself. very much. I do tell a few people that i hate myself a lot. But i feel stupid talking about this to them. Talking about me to them. Because i am nothing. i am just wasting their time by babbling on and on of this stupid world and this stupid me.
Call me stupid. yes i do know that. I know that very well.
People say shit that they think is funny about us. Little do they know we actually believe them. We actually listen. See we have EARS.
But who am I to say if they are mother fuckers. fuck bags. or just plain idiots. See I am no one.
But there have been times where i didn’t keep still and keep quiet. I have had my times where i shouted stuff at them. but i haven’t been violent. Because I’m a little mouse. And mice don’t do that.
But the world’s not so bad…there are at least….four-five people i know who are pretty good people(and four or five are a lot of people).
So my rambling ends here………
You must be happy that i have stopped saying shit???
:]
Well……….enjoy…your goddamn life dictated and controlled by them mother fuckign adults.
:]
Filed under: Not up to doing things
Words won’t express how much i hate myself.
Why do i screw up all the time??
Yea i do wanna be perfect.
Call em a hypocrite or a fake i don’t really care.( i think)
but i had a really strong urge to cut myself till nothing was left in me that day.
I had so much hate for myself.
I wanted to hurt myself but haha i couldn’t even find a blade.
What stupid ass can’t find a stupid blade???
I make the stupidest mistakes.
I want perfection. So that i won’t have to screw up ever.
But how can an ass like me attain perfection yet alone find it??
I am sorry. No matter what you say……I am sorry. For everything.
